Valuing yourself as much as you value others is a tricky subject for many yogis. In my experience most yogis are kind and humble people, apt to put others before themselves; indeed, doing so is part of our practice. But we cannot give wholly if we are not ourselves whole, as the Dalai Lama puts it: "One must be compassionate to oneself before external compassion".
Let's begin with the way you talk to yourself: sometimes the playlist we have running in our heads is not kind, and what's more, because those voices in our head stay in our head and are never openly expressed or challenged, we tend to think that they speak the truth. They are never challenged.
Recently a new student asked me what to do about the voices in her head. You wouldn't believe how beautiful this person is: a gentle spirit, kind, friendly and gifted.
Here is my answer:
Listen to those voices, acknowledge them, make friends with them. Get to know who they are and what their purpose is.
They most likely just want to keep you safe, to save you from being embarrassed or hurt. So they try to keep you small and in safe places that you are familiar with.
They want to circumvent any harsh judgement, so they tell you that your skills are no good. That way you stay quiet and nobody ever sees/hears you, but neither will they criticise you.
But I'm afraid that listening to those voices and following that road leads to a small, frightened life, when what we are seeking as yogis is an expansive, generous life of constant growth and growing understanding.
Make befriending yourself part of your practice; meet with the voices in your head, so that you can understand them and find ways to rewrite your internal script, making it more kindly and positive and thereby freeing yourself from the negativity that holds you back.
Try this: when one of your negative inner recordings starts rolling, stop it short, thank it kindly for trying to keep you safe, but remind it that it is not needed and move forward with your day.
Think about this: if you are someone who encourages others often to do new things, if you can see the potential in them, make yourself the beneficiary of your positivity and good advice.
Start with this: you are beautiful; you are here for a reason and you serve the world by finding out that reason and using it for good. Learn how to overcome your internal naysayers and confidently be who you are.
One place in which you can begin your journey towards peace is to meet, greet and get to know all of those voices inside yourself, to encourage the kind ones and to understand the motives behind the unkind. Nurture yourself as if you were your own child, for whom the only thing you wish is a life filled with optimism and confidence.
You were made this way for a reason and you are supposed to be this way; stop fighting it and let yourself be who you are in all of your glory without letting those harsh, judgemental, fearful voices within rule you.