Beware those who offer you quick fixes and promise speedy transformation. It is not that those things are not possible, so much as that speedy change is not really what we need.
What we need, and what arises naturally in us is slow evolution. I’m talking about profound change here, the kind of change which addresses how you are living, how well you set boundaries, how well you understand what choices will move you towards the peaceful, joyful life you deserve to live.
We circle around and around these lessons, coming back to them over and over again. The deepest shifts take the longest time. And it is in that circling back, retreading old ground, coming up against the same old questions that we begin to discern the answers and make the necessary changes.
It can feel hopeless. You ask, why am I here again? I thought I’d dealt with this. And then perhaps you feel like a failure for having wound up in the same sad place once again.
But you are never in the same place twice, however much it might feel that way. Each time you meet that same problem you are coming at it from a slightly different angle and with new wisdom.
You do not smash through the barriers that lie between you and peace, you whittle them away and sand smooth their rough edges. Gradually, you hone your responses to life, so that one day when your boss/ex/difficult relative says that thing (the one that drives you crazy, leads you to a hot response and then the regret for having fallen short again), you breathe, pause and … say something different, do something else, what they’ve said or done doesn’t feel so sharp any more, the barb doesn’t catch. One day when you are asked to do something that you know is not good for you, you find the word “no” and utter it firmly and kindly. One day when you are madly busy and someone comes along and asks you for your help, you say later, I can be with you later. And afterwards, what joy, there is no regret for having fallen short of what you had hoped of yourself; no exhaustion from having given too much of yourself.
Evolution creates lasting change and evolution takes time. What you seek is coming towards you at a pace that you can’t dictate. You are enough, it is enough. Breathe.
Sarah x