Humans have been negotiating with the idea of safety for as long as we’ve been human. Being able to plan, communicate and control life more than any other living creature, the viccissitudes of life trouble us: we’d like to be able to control them too.
Perhaps it is only the yogis and the Buddhists who tell us the truth: life is random and sorrows will come no matter what you do to fend them off or how much you deny their existence. Knees are grazed, tears fall.
Better than seeking to control the uncontrollable, let us learn how to be comfortable with discomfort, calm in the face of trials, accepting when things go wrong. Let us learn how to feel safe in our own skin, confident that we will be able to cope, let us teach our families how to be resilient, not afraid.
It is trite to say that there is a lesson in everything (tell that to the grieving mother), but there is wisdom to be gained from the dark places, wisdom and growing compassion for others in trouble, this we know.
This work, the work of remaining calm and accepting, open and trusting requires us to let go of old hurts and sorrows. Failing once is not your sign never to try again. Losing once is not your sign to hold on more tightly to what is left. The work is ongoing, because the challenges are ongoing - every day a reason to close off, every day therefore a reason to practice staying open.
Tat Tvam Asi the yogis tell us, everything is connected. There is more to this world than any human can ever understand, so stop trying to work out how to control it all and try learning how to live in peace instead.