Viveka

We know what does us good, don't we?  Even if we are only just now learning what it is that we truly want and need in our life in order to live in the fullest, most vibrant, most generous way, there are certain things we know that we need.

We need the support of good people; we need regular sleep; we need to not drink too much alcohol or eat too much sugar and fat; we need regular exercise of the kind that suits our constitution as it is today (not how it was 20, or even 5 years ago); we need connection and movement and light.

How can this be so hard to maintain?

Somebody asked me: 'If I know that those people are no good for me and that hanging out with them makes me ill; if I know that drinking that much and staying out that late interferes with my life in a bad way, why do I still do it? '

Bless his heart, that man.

What he is looking for is VIVEKA: the discrimination with which we choose wisely.

At first, our efforts at viveka are stymied by our lack of self-awareness - when we are starting out it is so difficult to realise except by trial and error, what serves our best self and what does not.  Perhaps it is the human condition to want everything and to have it all, or perhaps it is that we live in a capitalist society that entreats us all the time to have more, want more and do more.  More likely, it is just the case that part of learning what does suit us, is learning what does not.

I'm not going to list here the choices you make every single day and I'm not going to make value judgements around herbal tea vs. a cup of coffee: sometimes a nice glass of wine is a Very Good Thing.  You are a grown-up; you know this stuff.

But I am going to suggest that you set yourself a few boundaries around what you are allowing into your life, your day, your soul and I am going to encourage you to take time every day to consider the choices you are making (and if you don't have time in your day to take some time to breathe and consider the choices you are making, then you definitely need to take some time every day to ponder why you don't have the time).

Somebody told us that we can have it all; this is not the truth, but we can have a full life and a happy one, we can be the best versions of ourselves. It only needs that we choose wisely. We must learn to say no to the things that harm or deplete us, without guilt; we must learn how to keep ourselves well.

So be well, my friend, be healthy and happy. Set boundaries so that you can stay wholehearted and generous even on the days when the sadness in the world makes you want to lock the doors and hide inside.

Sarah x

The Shades Between

In seeking to make sense of the world, humans always seem to be looking for things to be black and white. But most things live in the shades between. Perhaps you see this even in your own family: your elderly relative is kind and judgmental. Your niece is unwilling to help out and a joy to be with. You yourself are generous and easily frustrated.

Yoga philosophy is very clear on this. Since all is one, there is no such thing as a good or bad human; there are only people who are confused, damaged, wrong-thinking. There is no such thing as a good or bad event; there are only things happening all of the time and us trying to cope with it to the best of our ability and with as much compassion as possible, gaining wisdom as we go.

I know that this is a difficult concept. But if you are living with an idea that you can in or out, good or bad, deserving or undeserving, then you are going to be fearful, to struggle, to grasp onto things that are always slipping away from you, since the world is constantly in flux and will not be pinned down. This is no way to spend your time.

Yoga means union and if there is union, then it does not make sense to believe that over here we have the ‘good’ stuff and over there we have the darker ‘bad’ stuff. How can you talk of all being one, when you have separated everything out into two?

There is peace to be found in understanding that the world exists in shades of grey, there is kindness, happiness and honesty in it.

There is power in it too, this is certainly not about passively accepting wrongdoing. Nelson Mandela forgave those who imprisoned him. If he had believed his opponents were fundamentally different to him, the war would have continued, but in embracing them as fellow humans, whatever their misguided beliefs had been, he ended apartheid.

Mandela was a hero on the world stage, but we are all the heroes of our own lives. We don’t exist in black and white, we live in the greys. Do you have the courage to embrace this complexity? Two things concurrently can be true. And most often, they are.

Namaste x

How to Be in Balance

Learning to ride a bicycle is difficult. You have to find the right balance and the right speed of travel, you need the confidence to know that you can slow down without falling and stop safely when required to. Also that you can get going again without too much of a wobble.

Learning to live well requires the same amount of judgement, sensitivity and confidence.

You’ll need to find the right balance between being sociable and being solitary, being stimulated and being calm, being in noisy places and being quiet. You’ll need to know that you have a safe place to rest when you need it, and the confidence to stop completely when required.

The ratio of each will change all of the time, depending on the season, your health, and whatever else is going on in your life. Living without making sense of yourself and your own personal balance leads to depletion, short-temperedness and/or burnout. Perhaps you have discovered this.

Ride your bicycle carefully this Christmas. Stop when you need to. Nobody gains when you fall off. You need to dance in the kitchen when the opportunity arises and you need sleep and kindness too. Know your own limits and guard your boundaries patiently.

Namaste x