Slow Change

Beware those who offer you quick fixes and promise speedy transformation. It is not that those things are not possible, so much as that speedy change is not really what we need.

What we need, and what arises naturally in us is slow evolution. I’m talking about profound change here, the kind of change which addresses how you are living, how well you set boundaries, how well you understand what choices will move you towards the peaceful, joyful life you deserve to live.

We circle around and around these lessons, coming back to them over and over again. The deepest shifts take the longest time. And it is in that circling back, retreading old ground, coming up against the same old questions that we begin to discern the answers and make the necessary changes.

It can feel hopeless. You ask, why am I here again? I thought I’d dealt with this. And then perhaps you feel like a failure for having wound up in the same sad place once again.

But you are never in the same place twice, however much it might feel that way. Each time you meet that same problem you are coming at it from a slightly different angle and with new wisdom.

You do not smash through the barriers that lie between you and peace, you whittle them away and sand smooth their rough edges. Gradually, you hone your responses to life, so that one day when your boss/ex/difficult relative says that thing (the one that drives you crazy, leads you to a hot response and then the regret for having fallen short again), you breathe, pause and … say something different, do something else, what they’ve said or done doesn’t feel so sharp any more, the barb doesn’t catch. One day when you are asked to do something that you know is not good for you, you find the word “no” and utter it firmly and kindly. One day when you are madly busy and someone comes along and asks you for your help, you say later, I can be with you later. And afterwards, what joy, there is no regret for having fallen short of what you had hoped of yourself; no exhaustion from having given too much of yourself.

Evolution creates lasting change and evolution takes time. What you seek is coming towards you at a pace that you can’t dictate. You are enough, it is enough. Breathe.

Sarah x

How do I know my inner voice?

What do you call that inner voice of yours? We have lots of names for it don’t we, whether we are spiritual seekers or not. It’s your soul, your intuition, or your gut instinct. We might call it following your heart or listening to your inner wisdom. Whatever you call it, whatever its genesis, there is something inside us that knows.

That knowing tends to come to us in the quiet moments, whether joyful or sad.  It tends to come when we have given ourselves more time to be quiet, move slowly, do less. Often it arises when we are immersed in nature and sometimes when we are at a low ebb, amidst that kind of surrender that only comes in our very darkest moments.

As yogis, we pay great attention to that inner voice and we listen for it all the time.  For us, that voice is the guide and the map and we have long since ceased all attempts at ignoring or doubting it.  It is crucially important that we keep on listening out for it.

We have long been tutored to work hard, try more, master our own destinies. This is completely different.  Any attempt you make to force your inner voice will fail. That quiet voice does not come because we demand it, it does not come when we try to hard to find it.

Instead of looking, searching, asking, what we seek instead is a peaceful kind of emptiness, a receptive and open attitude. We arrive at a patient, quiet space inside, in which certain things which have been obfuscated become clear and that clarity rises with sometimes astonishing perspicacity.

How do you tell the difference between your thoughts and your inner voice?  If you are uncertain, then wait – time will tell you if what you are hearing is the consistent clarity of your inner voice, or the restless musings of your ego-mind. Another way to be sure is to open yourself up to what rises in you immediately after yoga practice, particularly yoga practice in which you have been lead quite deeply into peace by your teacher. You can trust what rises from that quiet stillness.

We are evolving all the time and the inklings that arise within us are our guides. Your quiet inner voice needs to be nurtured, for it is easily drowned out by our familial/social conditioning, by our fear (also known as anxiety) and by our lack of courage. The world can be very noisy and everybody has their opinion.  Only you know, but you will only know if you learn how to listen.

Sarah x

How do you meditate properly?

Meditating is easy:
1. Choose a time to sit.
2. Be comfortable.
3. Select something to focus on (a mantra, your breath, a recording).
4. Make it your intention to draw your mind’s attention back to your chosen focus every time it wanders off. Your mind will wander off. Over & over again. That’s ok.

Meditating is difficult:
1. You have so many things to do.
2. It is hard to keep faith with the knowledge that everyone you admire says meditation is good for your soul, good for your mental health, good for your body when your mind is telling you that you are certainly THE ONLY PERSON WHO CANNOT DO IT!!!
3. Wow, you have a wildly oscillating mind! All of its memories, resentments, distractions, to do lists & plans are whizzing around in there.

So it’s a simple principle, but hard to do.

You will have seen the happy monks, the ones who have had electric cables attached to their heads so that science might quantify by computer what we have already seen on their faces: they are full of joy.

What you have not seen is the years of practice & sitting quietly with their own pain & disfunction that each monk will have been through to get to that peaceful, smiling state. More than this: pain & disfunction is permanently recurring, which is why it is called a practice, which is why you have to do it every day, which is why a happy monk continues to meditate every day, sometimes multiple times.

This is why it is so important to commit to your practice. Life sometimes feels pretty bad. In the course of a lifetime you will experience loss as well as gain, sorrow as well as joy. Your meditation practice has to be something that you can be with through all of life’s vicissitudes. Trust me when I tell you that if you can be there on your happy days, meditation will save you on your saddest.

As with any skill worth having, it is daily practice that brings accomplishment.

Nobody has the time and yet they do it. Really busy people that you admire do it. Thinking that you don’t have time is an excuse and nothing more. Everybody has time; how you choose to use your time what matters.

Find a mentor who can support you, help you find answers to your questions and offer guidance; or join a meditation group in which you feel at home.

Sit quietly …
Set a timer …
Breathe calmly …
Settle your mind to the best of today’s ability on your chosen focus or the voice of your teacher.

Forgive yourself when you find yourself distracted, or ruminating, or planning, or doubting.
You are human; it happens.

Then let it be.
No expectations. No judgement (these are yet more habits of mind that you might wish to watch, accept & let go of).

Sarah x

You will find several free guided meditations on my website here.
There are more on the way.
Let me know how you get on.