The One You Are Looking For

"The One you are looking for is the One who is looking"  So wrote St Francis of Assisi.  I find this reassuring during those periods when I feel that I am not sure where I am going, or what the point is.  Those times when you feel that you have lost your way a little bit, or when you don't like yourself very much; when you start being hard on yourself or when you feel like giving up; when you have lost your clarity or you just feel low on energy.  Whatever your particular way of getting lost is.

What I think he means is that what you are looking for is already there; the peace of mind that you seek is within you.  It is not so much a finding of it, but a letting go of all the stuff that lies between you and it.

Here's how Rumi put it: "This longing you express is the return message."  In other words, your longing, your seeking for truth, your understanding that there is something else, is your answer; it is your calling.  Erich Schiffman writes: "The solution to anything is to slide into a feeling of peace instead of thrashing around to find the answer ... When you experience your essence, you will feel this natural lovingness within yourself without having to do anything" 

When we take these teachings (from those much wiser than us) to heart, what we realise is this: that we don't have to keep running so fast - either towards the things that we hope will prove our worth (to ourselves; to others) or away from the truth of who we really are and what we really need and want from this life.  Most of all, we don't need to waste energy on being who we are not; we should only work to reveal the beautiful truth of who we already are.  It takes courage to trust that you are already enough.  It takes faith to believe the path is rising to meet you.  Are you brave enough to let the world know exactly who you are and to trust that that which you are seeking is seeking you right back?

Practising Wisdom

We have to practise wisdom.  There are things that we know to be true and yet lose sight of every day.  Just knowing isn't enough; we have to practise what we know.

Believing that you have enough and knowing that you are enough is one of these things.

If you are telling yourself every day that you don't have enough money, sleep, wisdom, energy, confidence, experience to do the things that you want and need to do, then you will come to believe it.  This will make you afraid and will stop you from doing all the things you would like to do.

If you cannot appreciate all that you have achieved, how far you've come, the money you have earned, who you are, for thinking about the miles you have yet to go to reach your goals, then you will forever feel inadequate and limited.  Don't postpone your gladness until you have more, weigh less or achieve something new; you know that to defer your happiness in this way is never to reach it.

And somehow we all bought into the idea that if you have enough money, anything is possible, when we know that money without love is meaningless and wealth without personal courage is worthless.  Do what you can with what you have available to you and don't let lack of funds be your excuse.

Practice is as simple as taking five minutes every night to be grateful for how much you've done that day, for the friendship of others, for the small things that made your day better, whether it was lunch with a friend, a tick on your to do list, or a walk in the sunshine.  It switches your brain chemistry around, so that instead of feeling the pressure of not enough, you get to climb into bed with a smile on your face and the feeling of contentment.  There might be more to do tomorrow, but today was good.

Gratitude grows then, and a positive outlook; not one in which we berate ourselves for all of the ways we lack and are lacking, but one in which we hold space for all that we have, all that we are, and all that we are becoming.

Time to Relax

Perhaps instead of signing up to a mindfulness course, or trying to establish a meditation practice, all you really need to do is commit to practising relaxation regularly.

We're all really good at the doing of life - striving, setting goals, working hard and getting things done - it's the calming ourselves down part, the letting go of stress and worry that we could use some help with.

Relaxation practice is not doing nothing: it's the active process of sparking up the peaceful half of your nervous system.

Here's what happens when you relax: your blood pressure lowers, your heart rate drops, your brain waves slow down, your digestion speeds up, your immune system is boosted, chronic muscular tension and pain is reduced, the quality and quantity of your sleep is improved ...

If you have been struggling with sleeplessness, headaches, anxiety, back pain or IBS, stress, anger, depression; if you seem to catch every bug that's going around, or you feel constantly exhausted, then it could be that a regular relaxation practice will change your life for the better. 

In addition to this, your capacity to remain calm in the face of challenge and difficulty will revolutionise the way you live, your capacity for forgiving yourself for all of your little mistakes will increase, your worries won't seem so overwhelming any more and your frustrations with everyday life will diminish. 

Relaxing is how you set yourself straight again when the world has wrung you out.
Relaxing makes us better humans. 
Might as well start tonight.

Full instructions provided in the image above.